helluva week

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday I taught in an ED room (Emotionally Disturbed) in one of our poorer schools. I've been in this room several times before. I spent a week there a couple of months ago. I've gotta tell you, that if there is one thing that can make me feel incompetent, it would be working in this classroom. There aren't that many children, maybe seven at the most, at any given time. But they have so many issues. And they're all different. One of the biggest problems is that I don't know them well enough to know what their flashpoints are. I'm quieter and more reserved in this room. I'm also more laid back, taking my cues from the Educational Assistant. The problem with that is, I get a serious "You're a freaking idiot" vibe from her. Maybe I'm wrong. I must be wrong. Because I'm told that she's very complimentary about me. I keep getting asked back, after all.

Yet, I feel as if she and I are working against one another. I don't know...mebbe I'm reading too much into things. But I feel as if I have to justify myself to her sometimes. She has a tendency to just walk over me. *sigh* Fortunately, my ego is pretty healthy; I don't have a need to do the whole "I am the teacher, you must listen to me" crap that I see other teaches and subs do. That is NOT me. but, please, if you work with me, give me some credit. I'm a reasonably intelligent person. I follow directions.......I can be taught. TELL ME WHAT YOU NEED ME TO DO! *banging head on desk. and please, quit freaking patronizing me. I'm doing my best. I've been working Spec. Ed a long time. This ain't my first big job. You must not think I'm too horrible: I keep coming back to your room.

But, that might be a case of "better the devil you know". *sigh* Oh, well.